Articles by Deborah Roffman

Down With “The Talk”!: Changing the Narratives We Tell Ourselves About Talking to the Kids about Sex,   in The Huffington Post, (Part 1 of 4) September 25, 2012 (Part 2 of 4) October 1, 2012  (Part 3 of 4) October 3, 2012  (Part 4 of 4) October 8, 2012

Typically, adults project anxiety around the topic of sexuality in ways that are subtle and indirect–for instance, hardly anyone ever says, “Boy, talking about this stuff really makes me feel anxious!” When an adult grimaces, tenses up, stammers, evades or changes the subject, or abruptly goes rigid and silent with no explanation, children can only try to guess at the cause. If the threat and confusion persist long enough, or feels severe enough, it can foster in kids a pernicious and even dread (there’s that word again) sense that something in the family just isn’t quite right. And, once he or she figures out that the subject causing all this trepidation is “sex,” the “talking-in-the-family-about-sex-equals-danger-and-threat” association is set. It’s also a set-up, since uncorrected and unchallenged belief systems, based in unresolved anxiety from childhood, can and often do emerge almost instinctively in adulthood when the child becomes the parent.

Part 1 of 4. Down With “The Talk”!: Changing the Narratives We Tell Ourselves About Talking to the Kids about Sex. Huffington Post, September 25, 2012.

Part 2 of 4. Down With “The Talk”!: Reclaiming Our Common Sense About Sex. Huffington Post, October 1, 2012

Part 3 of 4. Down With “The Talk”!: “Where Did I Come From?” Is Not a Question About Sex , Huffington Post, October 3, 2012

Part 4 of 4, Down With “The Talk”!: What Would a New Paradigm Look and Feel Like?, October 8, 2012

Debbie’s Huffington Post index

“Teen Sexuality: Sex as Sport and Girls as Game” in Huffington Post, June 22, 2010

Making Meaning and Finding Morality in a Sexualized World

Jewish Choices, Jewish Voices: Sex and Intimacy, Elliott Dorff and Danya Ruttenberg, Eds., The Jewish Publication Society, 2010

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